As a financial advisor, I get to observe the money mistakes guys make in their relationships. Frivolous spending, excessive debt, and not having a financial plan can become significant stressors in a relationship, leading to arguments over money and even divorce.
If you’re loosely spending money while your partner is doing everything they can to save a buck, there’s bound to be friction in your relationship. When it comes to your finances, guys, women aren’t that complicated. They don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove themselves.1
I’m sure women desire a partner that’s a good friend makes them laugh, makes them feel financially secure, and is predictable with their money. In other words, she needs her man to be financially responsible and stable.
7 Money Moves Guys Can Take To
As a financial advisor and have been married for almost 20 years, I know how important balance is to a woman. And, I know how having confidence in your financial plan can enhance that balance.
Here are some excellent money moves you can take today that can impress your partner and avoid having her running for the hills:
- Show Financial Responsibility
- Exude Financial Confidence
- Live Below Your Means
- Own Assets, Not Liabilities
- Be Generous
- Plan For the Future
- Protect Your Wealth
Tip #1: Show Financial Responsibility
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11
I’ve probably heard this verse over 500 times from weddings that I’ve attended but never thought about its meaning in the context of money. I’m betting you haven’t either, but there is some great wisdom in it, so pay attention.
When we’re young, we use money selfishly. We’re irresponsible with it and spend it foolishly without thought of how our choices affect our relationships, businesses, and or our future. I’ve been there, too. And it took me almost losing my first business to realize what I was doing.
The exact message behind this biblical verse is that love never fails, so don’t fail the woman you love. Stop spending your money on toys, at least until you’re well on your way to creating wealth for your household.
Regardless of how good of a living you’re making for yourself, stop spending money like a child. Impress your woman by showing her you’re responsible with your money.
#2: Exude Financial Confidence
Being financially responsible will give you financial confidence, which you can’t have if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. While you can argue that you work hard for your money and deserve to spend it, marriage is not a partnership.
Only in divorce does a marriage become a business transaction. In a marriage, you are one of a whole; your income is both of your income. And your bank accounts are both of your bank accounts.
As a financial advisor, I get to see what financial confidence looks like from my more successful clients, and it is one of the most important tools a man can own. It’s compelling.
When you exude confidence around your finances, you show strength and self-assurance. You start to believe in yourself and act in a way that follows through on decisions. Financial confidence gives you the intention and willpower to take control of your money.
To boost your financial confidence, follow these simple tips:
- Create financial goals and commit to achieving them
- Educate yourself about how money works
- Build up the courage to take more risks
#3: Live Below Your Means
Nothing will scares your partner faster than living paycheck to paycheck and dedicating all your hard-earned money to monthly payments. That kind of lifestyle isn’t sustainable and leads to arguments over money.
Contrary to that is living below your means. It’s having money left over to save after paying all the bills. Savings can create financial security through an emergency fund, go on debt-free vacations, and save for important financial goals like investing or sending your children to college.
If you want to impress your partner and create a lasting relationship, provide them financial stability and security. Show her that you are trustworthy with your money, and take it a step further —invite her in on your plans by scheduling Money Dates. You might be surprised to find out that she has goals of her own.
One lesson that life has taught me is couples that plan together, tend to grow together. And the ones that don’t tend to experience pain and grow apart.
Women have to deal with the inner dialogues of insecurities and worries. Show her that you’re invested in this relationship, literally and figuratively.
How you do that is by purchasing assets, not liabilities.
#4: Own Assets, Not Liabilities
Most people would define an asset to be a property of value, and a liability to be a debt. For example, they would consider a home to be an asset, but the mortgage liability.
I don’t believe that to be true. In the wake of the 2009 credit crisis, I now realize that an asset is something much more. To me, an asset is something that makes me money, while a liability is something that costs me money.
To me, a home (the real estate property that you live in) is not truly an asset; it’s a liability. Even without a mortgage, a house costs money year after year in maintenance, taxes, insurance, and in opportunity cost.
While you can build equity in a home, my experience as a financial advisor has shown me that too many people enter retirement still owing huge mortgage balances, despite living in them for a lifetime. How is that possible?
It’s easy when people purchase liabilities and resort to debt to fix their problems. It’s a vicious cycle of making monthly payments, maxing out credit cards, and refinancing the equity out of their homes to pay off their debts.
In short, some people use the equity in their home like a piggy bank.
If you want to impress your woman, educate yourself as to what’s truly an asset and what’s a liability or has liabilities attached. Then spend your life’s energy focusing on income-generating assets and avoiding unnecessary liabilities.
In my years as a financial advisor, here’s what I learned from the rich. They use their income and buy assets. They live below their means, avoiding lavish homes, car payments, and debt.
Meanwhile, the middle-class person often takes their extra income and purchases liabilities. In doing so, they commit all their income to monthly payments and a lifestyle of living paycheck to paycheck.
#5: Be Generous
Someone once told me, “The way you show someone you care is by giving your time.”
It didn’t mean as much to me then as it does today, but they were right. Time is our most valuable asset.
According to Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., a relationship therapist and professor, generosity may be what matters most in a marriage. According to her articles, generosity leads to happiness in relationships.
The simple act of making your partner feel valued, noticed, appreciated, respected, loved, and desired makes a relationship thrive. Nothing shows you care more than being generous with your time and being present in the moment.
I often share outcomes of my Money Dates because I believe they are crucial to planning and growing with your partner. They can make marital finance fun —I know I look forward to ours —but don’t stop there.
When was the last time that you took your girl out on a date? In long-term relationships, date nights can fade away. Ignite that spark by taking your partner out for a date night. Remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place.
I recommend keeping date nights engaging and exciting, as opposed to a movie night or dinner. Remember to factor these into your budget so that you can do them regularly. Try to schedule a date night every 30 to 90 days.
#6: Plan For The Future
Admittedly, I probably wouldn’t be as good of a planner if I didn’t learn a thing or two from my wife. We genuinely complement each other.
My wife loves it when we plan together because we accomplish so much. Whether it’s reviewing our financial goals for the year or yard work, she loves creating checklists and staying on top of things.
I can’t express how much satisfaction she gets in crossing things off that list.
My strength lies in strategy and efficiency. I’m very good at breaking down complex projects into smaller, achievable goals. For example, I can create a savings goal and break it down into monthly goals with weekly tasks, which would create a series of smaller wins along that way.
As a result, optimism rises as success seems more likely. That level of confidence in your finances creates excitement, and women love that. When it comes to the future, a lot of women are terrified of it; a lot of men are too. The trick is finding a way to get past your weaknesses and insecurities.
Thankfully, most of us have a partner that makes up for what we’re lacking. If I’m strong in strategy, my wife is strong in execution. This symbiotic relationship encourages progression, and that’s how we achieve so much.
If personal finance is challenging for both you and your partner, you might want to speak with a financial advisor . I know the couples that I work with value my advice, especially when I bring up financial matters they haven’t thought about yet.
#7: Protect Your Wealth
I genuinely wish that money didn’t hold the social importance that it does. However, the fact of the matter is, you can’t live comfortably in today’s world without creating financial security for yourself.
I see far too many people work far too hard, for far too long with very little to show for it. They work their entire lives doing the right things: working hard, paying their taxes, and investing for retirement, only to find that a single life event erased it all.
That’s how fragile wealth can be.
A good financial plan will incorporate both offensive and defensive strategies. Saving, investing, and earning more are excellent offensive strategies. But, without a proper defensive strategy in place, the wealth you’ll work your entire life to build will quickly evaporate.
My father worked his entire life but only focused on offensive strategies. Just five years from retirement, he lost his job due to the 2008 financial crisis, which wiped more than half of his retirement savings.
Because he didn’t have proper defensive strategies in place, he wasn’t afforded time for his retirement nest egg to recover. Instead, he had to liquidate his retirement savings to save his home — which is proof to me that a home is, in fact, a liability — with his only source of income being social security.
Investors now expect their wealth managers to handle their defensive strategies much more effectively. You should, too.
Divorces are expensive, and one of the top reasons for them are money fights. If you follow these seven money moves, I’m confident you will have a better chance of creating lasting wealth for your family.
- Show Financial Responsibility. Women like predictability, and to get that within your finances, you need to pay attention to the numbers.
- Exude Financial Confidence. Women desire balance, and having confidence in your financial plan will enhance that balance. Confident people make many different choices than those who are fearful.
- Live Below Your Means. You can’t hope to save money if you’re living paycheck to paycheck.
- Own Assets, Not Liabilities. Assets make you money. Liabilities cost you money. Purchase assets and say no to bad debt.
- Be Generous. You show someone you care by giving them your time. Be generous with yours; generosity creates happiness.
- Plan For the Future. Plan for the future together. Hopefully, you and your partner complement each other.
- Protect Your Wealth. Only playing offense will cause you to lose the game. You need to have defensive strategies in place to manage risk more effectively.
1) 15 Things Women Need From the Men in Their Lives, Psychology Today —
For Educational Purposes Only – Not to be relied upon as financial, tax, or legal advice. The views expressed are those of the author/presenter and do not necessarily reflect those of HTK and its affiliates; all data is derived from sources believed to be reliable.