Stop thinking that fear has anything to do with why you’re not where you want to be. Most of us just suffer from poor management of our thoughts.
On this episode of Tommy TV, I explain why we experience fear and anxiety and how to flip it around to change our mindset to take action on our longest-held dreams and desires for life. Overcome fear and take action on your dreams.
It’s scary to me how we’ve gotten so wrapped up in setting SMART goals. SMART goals are those goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Somehow, SMART goals have become the staple for setting achievable goals. If you’ve ever had a goal that was important to you, chances are you turned it into a SMART goal.
A lot of people think that goal-setting and SMART goals are synonymous. However, that is not necessarily the case. As a matter of fact, it’s a pretty poor way of going about setting goals.
Is your goal specific? Can you realistically achieve the goal? If your answer isn’t a resounding “yes”, then you’re told not to go for it.
And that’s precisely what’s wrong with SMART goals. Has any goal that’s worthwhile been reasonably attainable?
Let that question sit for a moment.
Think of the greatest achievements mankind has ever experienced:
Traveling to the moon
The 4-minute mile run
Civil Rights Movement
Women’s Rights Movement
LGBT Social Movements
Air travels and fighter jets
The Discovery of America
None of these were reasonable. They weren’t realistic or time-bound.
Think about the journey to the moon. Was that reasonable? No. It really wasn’t. Was it time-bound? President Kennedy said, “within a decade”, so the time frame was ambiguous at best.
Where are the big dreams?
The problem we have in today’s world is that we’re all dominated by having realistic goals.
What happened to all the “walking on the moon” dreams? Where’s the “Let’s create an empire and take over the world” dreams?
They’ve been replaced with tasks that need to get done today. They’ve been replaced with smaller, more realistic SMART goals.
But it wasn’t a SMART goal for Columbus to travel west across the ocean to get to India. And in the process, finding America.
It wasn’t a SMART goal for Martin Luther King, Jr. to say, “Let’s march on Washington”.
It wasn’t a SMART goal for us to put people into a metal container and launch them into space.
These were not SMART goals.
They were seemingly impossible dreams. And they changed our world forever.
Yes, eventually we need to take a goal and break it out into measurable steps, but that’s where most people start; they start small.
Because we tend to smart small, our greatest achievements are limited to checking off items on a list or filling in a graphic organizer. But do these lists add more joy and vibrancy to our lives? They just become replaced with more things to do.
I want you to start thinking bigger for your life. Get over your failures, and get back on the path that matters to you and stop managing to-do lists.
When your life becomes managing lists of things to do, you end up losing the fire of inspiration and have a difficult time finding joy in your life.
When you opened up about your dreams to someone, they may have told you, “That goal sounds realistic. Go for it.” Because of that, there’s nothing exciting to work toward.
I want to challenge you to become inspired.
Instead of always defaulting to SMART goals, I want you to take the opposite approach.
I want you to try creating DUMB goals.
I learned about DUMB goals through my mentor, Brendon Burchard. DUMB stands for Dream-focused, Uplifting, Method-based, Behavior-triggered.
Dream-Focused: Is what you’re seeking to achieve really your dream? If you were to achieve it, would it bring more vibrancy and meaning in your life?
Uplifting: Is this goal uplifting? Will achieving it build you up, give you more purpose and happiness? What would you gain by achieving this goal?
Method-Based: Does this goal have a blueprint for success? Following a proven method will increase your chances for success. For example, if you want to change your finances, follow a method proven to be successful.
Behavior-Triggered. We have to establish a behavior trigger to help remind us of our goal. Otherwise, we’ll forget all about it. Ever try to diet only to forget that you were on a diet? Try to think of something that will frequently remind you that you are striving towards an important goal.
I love DUMB goals because they broaden our perspective.
They focus on setting goals that are important to us: buying that first home, setting up an annual vacation savings plan, or discovering our purpose.
DUMB goals push us to work towards creating a future we once only imagined was possible. Download this worksheet to help you structure your DUMB goal.
SMART goals aren’t relatable to your real dreams. They’re just something you check off and maybe give yourself a high five for completing.
I want you to move onto a whole other level. A new stratosphere of your work and contributions.
What goal could you have that would feel magical? What goal ignites a fire in you?The world needs that special gift that only you have to offer.
As soon as you figure out what that is, you can dream up something huge. When you look within yourself and figure out what you really want, you’ll have no choice but to ask yourself, “How do I do that?”
That’s what happened to me. That question changed my life.
I became a financial advisor to work with people just like me; young professionals in their thirties and forties. I wanted to help people just starting out in life with good jobs, but also a mountain of student debt.
My challenge was that I worked for a large Wall Street firm. These firms have substantial revenue goals for their advisors which traditionally can only be met through working with retirees.
If I made young professionals my niche, I’d be fired.
I really wanted to make this work. In my eyes, it was genius. 99 percent of financial advisors only work with retirees. I would be competing against less than 1 percent of the industry. Even though it wasn’t what Wall Street wanted me to do, it was an industry that was mine for the taking.
Naturally that lead me to the question, “How do I do that?”
First, look deep inside yourself to figure out what it is you really want to do. If you could accomplish any goal, what would make you happy? When you get to the point where you’ve zeroed in on your goal, use this worksheet to it into a Dream-focused, Uplifting, Method-based, Behavior-triggered goal.
“How do I do that?” is a life changing question, and I’d like to help you find the answer.
What is preventing you from becoming more productive confident, and happy in your career and life?
Most high achievers feel blocked when their performance starts to plateau. When he or she feels stagnated, someone who is usually a ball of energy starts to look at their day with dread. They stay in bed longer, feel overwhelmed and start to experience a lack of control.
Eventually, this heavy hitter starts to slip (although at first this is not noticeable to others). A feeling of hopelessness starts to creep in.
Have you experienced something like this in your life? You might describe it as if you were just “going through the motions”. Inside, you feel something’s wrong, but you haven’t come to terms with it yet.
To help you get out of that rut, I put together four strategies to get past that overwhelming feeling and be more productive, confident, and happy.
Listen to the Podcast
1. Generate your own energy
It takes a lot of energy to stay at a peak performance level over the long-term. I’ve been doing it for fifteen years and it can be draining. You can’t be more productive, confident, and happy in your career and life if you’re in a constant state of fatigue and exhaustion.
To truly excel and serve in this world, you need to generate your own energy. Creating energy is about taking care of your body and staying at your peak performance state. However, it’s not just about taking care of your body; you also need to be concerned with your mental and emotional alertness. Your body, your brain, and your emotions are the keys to becoming more productive, confident and happy in all areas of your life.
Increase your energy and you’ll become more productive. You’ll get more done in shorter periods of time and you’ll feel like you can take on the world, What you need to do to get closer to achieving your goals will become clearer. You’ll be more likely to eat healthier, work out regularly, and be more inclined to learn.
My top three methods for generating an abundance of energy is to:
i. Eat right. I’m not going to belabor eating right. It’s common knowledge (not common practice) to choose healthier, home cooked foods over processed foods. But I will add that you should get a food allergy test done by a professional dietician. Eliminating foods that you have a sensitivity to can help fix issues with bloating, water retention, and poor skin. When your body has to fight allergens, it takes up more energy, which is a catalyst for exhaustion.
ii. Exercise daily. Exercising gives you so much energy. It increases your blood and oxygen flow and releases endorphins (a hormone that blocks all sorts of pain) You feel like you can take on any task after a good exercise. Coincidentally, you might even lose some weight which could correct some of the aches and pains you have.
iii. Drink more water. Most of us walk around in a severely dehydrated state. Drinking plenty of water boosts your brain power, allowing you to think, focus and concentrate.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the best version of yourself.
What do you look like? How much money do you make? Where do you work? How much money do you have in your savings?
What does a better you look like as a partner or spouse? What about as a parent?
Commit your life to becoming that person. It’s the best version of you, and that will help you live life with more vibrancy and meaning.
When you do this, you’ll look at the world differently. Instead of asking “What can I get done today?”, you’ll ask, “How can I make a difference today?”
Admittedly, I didn’t become a financial advisor for my love of finances or investments. It came out of a need to master my finances. At the age of 25, I was a successful entrepreneur generating six figures of revenue a year, but I was bleeding money.
I was lucky if I kept a third of the money I produced. I just wasn’t financially savvy enough to offset those taxes,and that left me feeling disappointed.
So at that point I started to focus on my strengths and hired professionals that could make up for financial weaknesses. When we are growing up, many adults tell us to focus on our strengths, but those people, while well meaning, are missing something important. I learned that when you only focus on your strengths, you don’t grow (in both your personal and professional life). You don’t become the best version of yourself.
I’m not saying that you need to hire financial professionals. They can be essential in your life, but only when you’re savvy enough to know how they’re helping. If it was absolutely essential to hire a financial professional, more people would hire one that’s a fiduciary (serves in your best interest) over working with one that’s really only a salesperson (sells financial and insurance products).
High achievers can envision themselves successfully achieving their goals and dreams. They know exactly the person they need to become, and most likely, it’s not who they are today.
Don’t let your weaknesses become a liability. Work on them until they become strengths.
Success isn’t always something you can check off a list. It’s usually a moving target, requiring skills you don’t have today.
I attribute much of my success to my ability to see past the minutia of things that need to get done today; I see things from a “big picture” perspective. I do this to to help me focus on the future I want to create for myself, my family, and my clients. Being able to envision and focus on the future allows affords me the opportunity to “reverse-engineer” that success.
Reverse-engineering success affords me the ability to create milestones and better understand who I need to become to achieve my goals.
In 2015, I believed that in order be successful in the future, I’d need to write quality articles that people would find. I had just become a financial advisor for a large Wall Street firm, and creating quality content was a cornerstone in my marketing plan.
To this day, I am focused on that vision, and I have done everything in my power to make it a reality. I’ve made sacrifices and worked to acquire valuable skills to help me achieve my goal.
But now that I’m here, do I just sit on my laurels? Or do I continue to evolve and grow? Growth in our personal and professional life is the only way to climb to that next level of success. It is what drives us to be more productive in work and be confident in who we are becoming. This pursuit is what t keeps us happy.
The good news is that (in this digital age), there are hundreds of people that can help you acquire the skills you need to become the palpable presence you envision.
Here’s what’s on my curriculum right today, as well as how much I’m investing in myself. Some of these are courses and professional programs;others are books I’m reading or have in my queue to read:
[Course] Person Achievement Accelerator —Rapid clarity and planning, self purpose, evaluate opportunities, self-mastery. Cost: $300
[Course] Influence Course — How to persuade others and help them achieve their best life. Cost: $300
Sales Secrets — How to manage wealth, build teams, develop a growth mindset, and overcome obstacles. Cost: $300
[Course] How to create a profitable webinar — How to create a profitable online course to teach others. Cost: $2,000
[Book] High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard. Cost: $0 (Sent for free by the author)
[Book] 10x Marketing Formula by Garrett Moon. Cost: $20
[Book] One Hour Content Plan by Meera Kothand Cost: $15
[Book] CREATE by Meera Kothand. Cost: $25
[Book] ProBlogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income by Darren Rowse
And, here’s what’s in queue for 2019 so far:
[Course] Course Creation — How to create a profitable online course to teach others. Cost: $2,000
[Course] High Performance Academy — How to help others achieve high levels of success ($10,000)
[Book] SEO 2018 by Adam Clarke
[Book] Building A Story Brand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen by Donald Miller
As you can probably tell, the person that I need to become is highly skilled in content creation (writing articles), content marketing (sharing those articles), and creating a platform where those articles generate passive and residual income.
What are you doing to invest in yourself? Do you have time blocked off on your calendar every week to learn something required to be the best version of yourself?
4. Learn to let go
Imagine walking backwards for an entire day. How challenging do you think that would be? Do you think you’d trip and fall? Maybe get hurt?
In many cases, that’s what happens when you linger on the past, and the past doesn’t always have to be years ago. It can be something that happened today.
Ever pull into your driveway (after a challenging day) and find yourself still thinking about work? Maybe you’re not looking forward to tomorrow’s hectic day. Perhaps you are dreading that hour long call with an irate customer.
We end up inviting this drama into our homes. If only we can learn to let go, perhaps we could be more present with the people we love.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.”
This past year, I’ve been using a “Release Meditation” technique that I learned from one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard. Brendon is a New York Times” Best Seller, and a high performance coach.
Learning how to “release” or let go before I enter new transitions throughout my day has allowed me to be focused and present with the task at hand. This allows me to be a better coach to my clients, as well a better husband and father.
I use this mediation practice as a transition from task to task, such as before:
Making a phone call
Arriving at Meetings
I enter my home
The former First Lady, Barbara Bush once said,
“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a spouse, a friend, a child or a parent.”
And she’s very much right. I believe Time is life’s more precious commodity. It’s our greatest asset.
Letting go isn’t so much about forgiving and forgetting as it is about being present in the moment. It’s about always moving forward and making meaningful progress.
Being more productive, confident, and happy is a long-term goal, and it’s hard work. That’s why a lot more people aren’t happy with their lives; they work far too hard for far too long with little to show for it.
Now I want to hear from you. Share what the best version of you looks like. What do you see yourself doing for a living? Is it what you’re doing today?
Buying your first home is a huge milestone in your life. For most people, it’s one of the biggest purchases they’ll ever make, which is why it’s very important to take this whole process very seriously. You don’t want to pay more for a home than you have to. And you don’t want to end up over your head with a mortgage payment you can’t afford.
This week we explore failure: what it really is, and how to have a successful failure. I feel that there’s a lot of discussion around avoiding failure and how to succeed, but not so much about how to deal with failure in a positive way.
If you find that you don’t take action or feel you’re behind on your life and financial goals, there’s a good chance that you lack the clarity and confidence required to make it happen. That feeling of uncertainty is causing you to hold back and not perform at your peak potential.
As Millennials enter peak earning years, they’re faced with their biggest challenge and desire: How to retire early without the fear of running out of money? In this post, we offer ten steps you can take today to retire early (and stay retired).
I recently celebrated my 40th birthday. Because this is a new chapter in my life, a new decade, I wanted to find something valuable that I could share with you. Having reflected upon my thirties, I found a major theme and dominated the last ten years of my life.
I discovered that my thirties was dominated by pressure and responsibility. It’s important to understand your relationship with each because it can be easy to let the pressures of life weigh us down. We have bills to pay, traffic to deal with and people that are just rude. There’s also the demands of our husbands and wives, sons and daughters, bosses and clients. It’s a lot.
Learning to master the pressures of life will help you live your most expansive, expressive and meaningful life. You will be able to initiate crucial conversations, make 5-second decisions, and work towards what’s most important to you.
I’m committed to sharing the best of what I’m living and learning, and to keep it real and honest. Here are 5 Life Lessons I’ve Learned In My Thirties. Enjoy.
1. Don’t be all work and stress
My thirties was a time dominated by my desire to keep moving forward. I had built two companies from the ground up. My wife and I brought two children into the world and raised them with our values.
If we’re not careful, we could end up with too much pressure and responsibility to enjoy life. If you’re all work and stress —if you’re dealing with pressure all the time — it’s going to weigh you down. It’s possible to be so busy raising your children that you don’t have the time to enjoy them. If you’re busy chasing after your children, changing their diapers, getting your kids to and from school -it’s all work and no play. You won’t be happy. You’ll be too busy.
Don’t get lost building whatever it is you’re working on: your family, your career, your hobbies. Find a healthy release to keep a light-hearted spirit. Don’t be so serious all the time.
2. Avoid bad relationships
If you don’t take the time to enjoy your life, you won’t have good relationships. Nobody wants to be around a grumpy, sour person. Similarly, it’s difficult to enjoy your life while letting bad relationships into your home or business.
We all experience that person that always seems to make wrong decisions in life. Maybe they’re childhood friends or a family member. Just being around these people is exhausting. And, the only time it seems they call is when they want to discuss their problems. Like the good friend you are, you listen. You offer your opinion. But they never seem to listen.
Getting rid of bad friends can do great things for your mental health. You also become receptive to forging new and better friends. And that’s awesome.
I love my wife. She always finds something to laugh about throughout the day. Even if it’s me that she’s laughing at.
We work from home. I could be in another part of the house and hear her laughing about something. Being a curious person, I have to see what’s going on -because I can hear her laughing so hard.
The funny thing is, it wasn’t even funny. It was just a video clip of a dog that someone posted on Facebook. Other people would have ignored it, or just give it a thumbs up and move on. Not my wife. She’s always looking for a reason to laugh. She loves to have fun. She keeps a joyful atmosphere in our home.
Finding a reason to laugh every day will help you relieve physical tension and stress. It leaves your muscles feeling relaxed for almost an hour. Laughter also boosts our immune systems and decreases stress hormones. Clearly, laughter heals more than just the soul.
If you were to log into my Netflix account, you’d be amazed to see all my recommended videos are stand-up comics. Finding reasons to laugh, helps me deal with life’s pressures.
4. Keep respect and laughter in your relationship
This is the secret sauce to happiness in any relationship. Always respect your spouse -even when your girls or guys are bad-talking their spouse.
Love is the ability to forgive your spouse. It’s the ability to forgive them and then forget whatever it was they did. If you can’t do that, you’re not in love. Forgive and forget, then try to find the humour in it all. A family that laughs together stays together.
Couples that fall apart stop laughing. They stop having fun. They let the pressures of life take them over. There are bills to pay and children to raise. They’re busy dealing with problems and don’t see eye-to-eye on every situation. Having a high regard for your partner, respecting them and find joy together is what’s going to help you through the tough times. Laughing together and having fun, that’s going to help keep you together.
I was meeting with a potential new client. It was clear that she was annoyed with her husband. Everything he said just irritated her. She told me that she’s not sure if they’re going to be together in the future. In short, their laughter died. They let division into their home.
How long has it been since there’s been laughter in your home? Maybe you could take your relationship to a new level if you could bring joy and happiness into your home. Speak highly of your spouse. Avoid gossip. That’s going to bring tension, division and stress into your home. That will only drive you apart.
If you’ve ever held a job, you’ve felt the pressures of work-related stress. Even if you love what you do, your job can have stressful elements. We have unreasonable deadlines on projects and revenue quotas to meet. And there’s always that call from a customer that took over an hour to resolve.
Unfortunately, work-related stress doesn’t just disappear when you head home for the day. We often bring it home. We want to share it with our husband or wife. When stress persists, it can take a toll on your health and well-being.
Yes, we all need to deal with tension and stress. But you need to create a joyful atmosphere in your home. Don’t bring home pressure from work or stress from school. Leave it at the front door. Your home should be a retreat from the negative things that you have to deal with during the day. Your home should be a cheerful place.
If your stress levels are high try going to the gym. You’ll feel fabulous after a good workout.
I wasn’t looking forward to turning 40. In truth, I dreaded it. It almost felt like I was losing something. However, my wife threw me a Big 4-0 party with all my friends and I had a good time. I laughed a lot.
From there, I made the decision that I wasn’t going to grow into a grumpy old man. I’m not going to get more and more sour, the older I get and the more responsibility I have. I’m going to stay full of joy. I’m going to have fun in my forties.
As you live out your thirties, work hard. Make good progress toward your financial goals. Give yourself permission to enjoy your life. Don’t be all work and stress. Bring some cheer to people around you and put a smile on your face.
I want to hear from you
Do you have a pressing question. If so you can drop it in the comments below or ask me privately. If it’s good enough, I’ll answer it and mention you on my next Q&A Tuesday on TommyTV.
For most of us, saving money isn’t something that comes easy. Sure we keep meaning to set up an emergency fund, pay off our student loans, and even save for the future. But those intentions seem to get lost in all the responsibilities of today.
One reason why people get overwhelmed with their money and financial goals is that their’s a lot to think about. There’s never one financial goal to consider and work towards. Between building up a savings, paying bills, and hitting big life milestones. It’s a lot. And we’re doing it all ourselves.
If you’re someone who’s struggled to gain the courage and confidence you need with your money. There’s good news. I’m going to share with you 5 tips to help you build that savings muscle.
1. Start small
Choose a goal that’s relatively easy to accomplish. If you know you need to build an emergency fund, don’t focus on the thousand dollars that you need to put in there. Start with opening the savings account.
If you want to pay off your debt, start getting an inventory of everything you owe. On both federal and private loans-down to the interest rate. Better yet, for your federal loans, go to NSLDS.org. Download your student load data. And call up your private loan services and ask for copies of your promissory notes. Have them mail it to you. Once you get them, if you need help reading them, schedule a call with me.
These are much smaller tasks and easier to achieve. They’ll give you the courage and confidence you need so that you can take on more. Too often people fail to save because they get overwhelmed. They create these vague goals and don’t know where to start. Saving for a down payment on a home may seem like an everyday goals that people do. But when you break it down, there’s quite a few more things to do that just saving the money.
Often, we don’t know where to start. And because we don’t know everything, we do nothing. It’s a sort of paralysis by analysis. But when we break it down into our project into smaller steps, we reduce the barrier to get started.
When I take on a new client, one of the first financial goals I set up for them setup is to fund their annual vacation. I’m building a positive association around exercising discipline with their money.
2. Make goals positive and specific.
Saving for something like next year’s vacation is positive. And it’s specific.
Instead of letting them do what they’ve always done. Which is, use their tax refund or resorting to credit card debt, my clients will enjoy a debt-free vacation. That’s going to feel a hell of a lot different than one put on plastic.
Having specific goals gives us something to measure. If we change our effort (save more or less) we change our result. If we fail to save the $40 a week, we could be looking at staying at a hotel in town as opposed to on the beach.
When setting your goals, use the S.M.A.R.T. system.
Specific – What is it that you want to exactly achieve?
Measurable – How much do you need to save per year/month/week
Achievable – Can you do this? Or is it a stretch?
Relative – Why is this goal important to you? If it’s not, stop here.
Timely – When do you need to complete this goal by?
It’s important to know how you’re going to put away this money and keep it there.
Bank somewhere that allows you to open multiple savings accounts. Leaving this money in your primary checking account isn’t a good idea. It only increases the chances that you’re going to spend it. It’s helpful to give these accounts specific names to reflect your goal. Name them your Emergency fund, Vacation fund, or House fund.
I recommend a CapitalOne 360 account. There’s a few reasons for this. First, CapitalOne 360 doesn’t have any balance requirements. Also, it’s free. It doesn’t cost anything to open the account. In contrast, most banks charge at least $5 a month if you fall below their limits.
4. Automate your savings
When it comes to saving for a house, building your emergency fund, or any other financial goal. Always automate the good behavior. Take discipline out of the equation.
You are the only thing between you and achieving your financial goals. Given the chance, you’ll talk yourself out of saving.
Dream Goals: Vacation, Travel, Down payment on a home or car. New toy.
Fixed monthly bills. They’re the same every month. Why wait to send out the payment only to risk forgetting.
Donations to charity
You can set up automatic payments using your bank’s online bill tools.
[bctt tweet=”You are the only thing between you and achieving your financial goals — all of them. https://www.tommymartin.com/2017/09/03/5-tips-to-boost-your-financial-confidence/?preview_id=289&preview_nonce=674dc5b564&_thumbnail_id=293&preview=true” username=”clearpathria”]
5. Keep an Eye on Things
From here, you just need to keep an eye on your cash flow. Make sure these little changes in your cash flow aren’t leaving you to overdraw your accounts.
Setting Money Goals
Once you’ve started to build your savings muscle, extend this behavior in to larger, long-term goals. You can even work towards multiple goals like saving for vacation and paying off debt at the same time. Use these tips to help you stay on course and build a cash cushion while saving for the future.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Here’s a two-part question for you today.
1. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being in financial trouble and 10 being a total money machine, where are you at?
2. What are some of things that help you become confident with your money?
Leave a comment below and let me know.
And remember, we are a community. We’re here to help each other out. Your response could really help someone break through some financial challenges.
I want to hear from you
Do you have a pressing question. If so you can drop it in the comments below or ask me privately. If it’s good enough, I’ll answer it and mention you on my next Q&A Tuesday on TommyTV.